Still Reeling
To be honest/fair I’m probably more shellshocked than strong at this point.
To all of you who have included us in your prayers, I want to say “Thank you”. I appreciate it. Please don’t forget to include Diva Girl, though. She’s bigger, and I don’t talk about her so much because of that, but she’s just a little girl, and she’s going to need all the help she can get, too.
I *do* take comfort knowing you are all just a post away. In some ways, it’s easier that we’ve never met–it makes it easier to accept your support without making it ok for you. That probably sounds really selfish, but the first thing I’m learning is that, ironically, you spend a lot of time reassuring other people that it will be ok when you’re the centre of a health crisis. So some “no strings attached” support is really welcome. Which is not to say that I don’t savour and take strength from the support of people I *do* know.
God, you have all helped make a horrible day easier. And I am truly sorry that you must now be looking at your own little ones thinking, “There but for the grace of God….” Please don’t. This sucks. But shit happens. And it doesn’t mean it will happen to you.
I want to give a very public thank you to Kirsten. She put The Girl in the car for only the second time in her life in order to be there for me when I very selfishly called her up and answered her very cheerful “hello” with a sobbing “Zen Baby has cancer.” No warning. Nothing. And Kirsten (and her wonderful husband) stepped up and came right over to be with me. No questioning the logistics of newborn transport–which are not inconsiderable. Just instantaneous support. I am so blessed. Thanks. That meant so much. I’ve said it before, everyone needs that one friend you can call and just sob into the phone and they immediately put you first. Even when there’s really big stuff in their own life (She’s even more adorable, btw). Thanks for making your whole family that for me.
I also want to let you all know that Zen Baby seems fine. If you didn’t know, you wouldn’t know. She’s her happy, active self. And I’m taking a lot of comfort in that tonight. I
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