What Do You Mean, “As Well As Can Be Expected?”
Yes, they’ve pretty much diagnosed the type of cancer, and no, I’m not going to tell you. I’m not trying to be coy; I thought long and hard about this last night. And the thing is, you have all been *so* WONDERFUL to me. But that temptation to google, and then to share what you’ve googled, can be a powerful thing. And I have a lot of people in my life googling right now. And a very large medical team I need to believe in. So I hope you understand and aren’t too offended.
Zen Baby has indeed inherited my “fighting spirit” as someone so delicately put it. She hates it here, and is not afraid to show it. She’s got very good pattern recognition skills, and freaks out whenever someone in scrubs is within a 2 foot radius. I say, “Good for her! Give ‘em hell kid!” And then of course I hold her down so they can poke her with pointy things.
It’s amazing how quickly your frame of reference shifts, and how the once unthinkable is routine because it has to be done. There will be a longer post about them at some point, but the nurses here are fabulous. They respect Zen Baby’s space, and don’t make me feel like I’m being ordered around. After one very frank conversation with a resident, no one talks to me like I’m stupid anymore, either.
Must go hold down the baby for unpleasantness (but, let’s remember, it’s for the greater good!). More later, I hope.
And what do you mean, “As well as can be expected”?!!?? I’m coping beautifully. I have not yet cursed anyone out, disowned god, thrown anything, or kicked anyone. And I’ve only collapsed into a weeping puking mass on the floor once.
Apparently I’m an overachiever at grief, too.