Princess Sparklefairy, Penultimate Version
I had an epiphany the other day when I was talking to a friend about our brief stint as fish owners; this is where the real market for cloning and cryogenics is: Pet services. Forget duplicating sheep and freezing cultural icons, the real money would be in goldfish and hamsters.
Imagine the possibilities. Instead of the mad rush to the pet store to find an exact match for Goldie or Hammy before the kiddies notice that it seems to be swimming funny or sleeping a lot, you could just go to your freezer, thaw out an exact replica, and viola! the 30 second lifespan will never be an issue again. No more tear filled shoebox funerals or burials at sea, just a quick trip from freezer to microwave. Although, I guess you’d have to be careful when you were nuking a Lean Cuisine for dinner.
After the one that committed Hari Kari, the one who had a heart attack, and the one that I’m pretty sure the cat ate (didn’t know about that one, did you?), I’d essentially given up on Princess Sparklefairy. But the Shaolin Toddler wasn’t ready to let the dream die, and this weekend she memorialized her lost fish (isn’t it great how that’s a singular and a plural noun all at once?) in her Build A Bear.
Where other kids where naming theirs things like “Stripey” and “‘Butterscotch,” Regan was committed to “Princess Sparklefairy.” And so, even though our fancy fish is no longer with us, his spirit can be forever immortalized in the form of a tabby kitty wearing fairy wings, ruby slippers, and a pink sparkly crown. And, barring an unfortunate incident with the washing machine, this Princess Sparklefairy should be with us for a good long time. Plus, even if that does happen, it’s Build A Bear–kinda of the stuffed animal equivalent of cloning your pet.