Parenting Without A License

When Cloning is Not An Option

Posted by Kimberly on October 9th, 2007 — Posted in The Ladies

I knew this day would come, the day when being outnumbered 2 to 1 would mean more than inevitably losing the pillow fight. The day when I would wish that there were two of me, the better able to meet the needs of both my daughters.
No, they’re not plotting against me.  Well, they are, but they always do that.  No, tonight  was the first time we encountered the space/time continuum questions that come when your family math equation looks like this:  2 kids, 1 adult, 0 car.

Swimming lessons this summer were no problem because they were both held at the same pool.  Ditto the fall session, where I even achieved the holy grail of scheduling by managing to get them into classes at the exact same time on Saturday mornings.  And thanks to the age gap between The Ladies, scheduling conflicts haven’t even been a possibility until this year.

However, this year Diva Girl isn’t the only one with things to do and places to go.  For the first time, the Zen Baby has activities of her own, and it’s created a bit of a complication.

I don’t believe in overscheduling kids, but I do think they should have some out of the home activity, so in addition to the weekend swimming or skating, I’ve always allowed Sabrina to enroll in one other activity during the week.  For the past three years that activity has been linked to Girl Guides of Canada, and that’s not about to change this year, especially now that she’s a “real” Guide.

In past years, Regan was simply carted to and fro, with little thought given to her needs.  Partly she was too young to enroll in anything that didn’t require mommy participation–not really an option with her sister still needing adult supervision–but mostly, up until this year, she was too shy to have benefited from any sort of social activity of her own.  This past year, however, she’s blossomed into a new child; a happy, confident, vibrant little girl.  It was time to sign the Zen Baby up for an activity of her own.

We chose dancing, partly because she loves to dance and partly because it ran on Tuesday nights.  That was important, because Guides has always run on Thursdays.  With 2 kids and no car, the last thing I needed was some sort of scheduling conflict.  So of course, that’s what I got; when we went to sign Diva Girl up for her new troop, we were informed that the night had changed.  To Tuesdays.

This is the point where if I had a more traditional type family there would be a bit of moaning and groaning about the inconvenience of it all, and then we’d divy the kids up and everything would be fine.  But that kind of solution requires a different kid to adult ratio than the one we’re working with here, so I’m still stuck with the question of how to be in two different places at the same time.

Giving up one of the activities simply isn’t an option.  Sabrina has been a Guider for 3 years now.  She’s committed to the program, and I feel it’s got a lot to offer (not the least of which is a very quiet hour and a half a week).  Regan’s dance lessons were well underway when we found out about Guides, and it wouldn’t be fair to take them away.  Besides, every time I see my formerly timid little girl skip through the door into class, and then throw herself into the movements with a wild abandon rivaled only by her enthusiastic running commentary, the wounded little places in my heart heal a little bit more.  I can’t take that away from either of us.

So, another solution needs to be found.  Fortunately, single parenting is often all about finding the creative solution.  This week, as I generally do in an emergency, I threw myself on the mercy of my parents, asking them to ferry Diva Girl to Guides while I took her sister to dance class.  Believe me, I know how lucky I am that I can do that.  But if being a single parent is about creative solutions, it’s also about building a strong support network that allows you the wiggle room to figure these things out.