This Is What I’m Dealing With
Trying to make plans with Facebook Guy can be maddening. Witness the following exchange as I try to ask him to lunch:
Kimberly: oh, hey! Are you free for lunch on Wednesay? (note how smooth I am with the “Oh hey!” Like it just popped into my head or something)
Facebook Guy: Sure am. (That’s it. Just a “yes.” Which, ok, it was a yes or no question. But seriously!)
K: Are you interested? (I probably should have just taken Yes as “let’s make plans,” but I was fishing for compliments, ok? Sue me.)
FBG: Who wouldn’t be interested in lunch? Its my favourite middle meal of the day (Clearly, Facebook Guy isn’t biting. He is baiting, though)
K: lunch with me? (Yes, I am a shameless hussy. But at this point I wanted to see exactly how far he’d take this.)
FBG: sure, if you’re free 
(yep, he took it that far. I thought about saying, “actually, I have plans that day,” But I think we’re dysfunctional enough as it is. Plus, I really wanted to go out for a Wally Burger–peanut butter and bacon on a burger. Yum)
And after all that, we went Dutch. Yes, I know I asked him out and then made him pay; it wasn’t intentional, it was just that I didn’t look at my bank account until after I issued the invitation. I never claimed to be good at this dating stuff, remember.
Still no definitive word on whether or not it was a date, but he was late getting back to work and he initiated the goodbye hug, so that’s progress, right?
Comment by Sophia
Whew! I thought you’d given up blogging after spilling the URL beans to the man you didn’t marry.
Glad to see you’re still around for me to live vicariously (sp?) through!
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 7:14 am
Comment by Sarah
You made me snort out loud.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 7:15 am
Comment by Jenny
Dont make it sound so unlikely that he would want to go to lunch with you, he said yes the first time! What are you like! (Oh yeah, me….at least you’re dating, I’m sat here writing this in my dressing gown watching my chickens out of the window and eating mint chocolate…)
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 7:15 am
Comment by Sheenu
hmmm. i feel the same. once the guy said “yes”, WHY would you ask him “are you interested?” and “lunch with me?”
as advice from a dateless single with another evening of downward dog to look forward to, you’re doing great. now just don’t blow it.
remember, i’m living thro’ you vicariously!
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 7:15 am
Comment by Kimberly
LOL.
Yeah, I was pushing it on purpose. I wanted to see how far he’d take it. I suspect he was acting on the same principle.
And hey, maddening is better than boring, right?
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 7:16 am
Comment by Jenny
Ha! If you’d have said the “Oh sorry, I’m busy that day” I’d have laughed my ass off.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 9:11 am
Comment by Furrysir
Seems to me, it’s not even close to a date. Anytime you have to work that hard to end up with a lunch that you pay for and then a hug good-bye doesn’t seem worth it. If he can’t ask you out properly besides the fact that you met him online (smart with 2 young girls at home) don’t go. Respect yourself - oh wait I forgot that you have two welfare girls by two different dads- respecting yoruself is not an option here.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 12:47 pm
Comment by Eden
Well, Welfare Mama with no self-respect, I unfortunately do have to agree w/ a little of what was said in the previous comment. He seems high maintenance and you’re still on the “hug” level at this point? I’d be putting down the proverbial foot by now. I don’t have time for pussyfootin’.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Comment by Lauren
Furrysir…go away.
Seems like you are the one with no respect..
Kimberly is living on her terms and doing a great job with it and her girls.
Go find a blog with more angry people like yourself.
Just go away, better yet..go to hell!
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Comment by Ashley
First of all, I would just like to say that I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time and happen to adore it. I’m a bit envious of your ability to write so well.
Secondly, I would consider this a date. I’m not a huge fan of fbg, but that’s only because I was in a very similar situation with a guy from Blockbuster and he ended up being a complete tool.
And lastly, I have a bone to pick with Furrysir. I’m pretty sure her daughters had absolutely NOTHING to do with this post, and even if they did, why would it be your place to say anything? If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. Also, I suggest you learn the use of basic punctuation and the concept of tact before you continue existing.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Comment by Furrysir
It’s not about anger. I don’t understand why women do not stand up for themselves. So many of them continue to be treated like dirt by men and then pass that down to their daughters. It’s disgusting. He obviously has no interest in dating you, he barely shoed interest in havnig lunch wiht you. And then you wonder if going dutch and getting a hug meant progress - I’m afraid to ask where you started from.
As for your daughters, teach them to respect themselves, as well as to support themselves financially so they are never dependent on anyone. teach them that they should be treated with respect at all times. Having to beg someone to have lunch with you and then calling it a date is pathetic.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Comment by Kimberly
‘Kay, I was going to ignore furrysir until the second comment came in, because a) he’s not particularly worth it and b) you’ve all done such a brilliant job of pointing out what an asshat he is, I don’t really feel the need. On the other hand, why should you all get all the fun…
So, Furrysir, to address your concerns:
1) It has nothing to do with underselling myself. For one thing, if you’re pissed at the lunch being dutch, *I* ripped him off, given the fact that I’m the one who issued the invitation.
2) I knew all along that “Yes” meant “Yes, I’d like to have lunch with you.” However, being a somewhat difficult personality myself, I kinda dig that sort of person. I was mostly just interested to see how far he would take it. I was actually a bit disappointed that he wasn’t a bit more slippery, to tell the truth.
3) I didn’t meet this man on the internet, as you assume. I met him through a friend whose judgment in these things I trust at least as much as I do my own.
4) I am not pining for FBG in any way. He’s a fun guy to spend a couple of hours with. Period. Plus, I may not have mentioned it, but I’m actually hard to kiss. If I didn’t go in for public displays when I was 17, chances are I’m not going to be interested now.
5)As to my daughters? Bite me. My daughters are being raised by a strong, confident (if slightly socially inept) independent woman to be strong confident independent women. They are fine. Thanks for your concern, now go troll someone else’s site.
In other news…I have a hater! Does that mean I’ve hit the big time????
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Comment by Eden
Invite your hater over for some government cheese. He seems to have issues with accepting welfare for its intended purpose. And then make him pay for it.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Comment by Stacey
LOL you are in the big time sister! I know what you mean about wishing he would have been a bit more coy- Flirting is fun
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Comment by Kirsten
You have a troll! Good for you. *All* the good blogs have them.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 4:50 pm
Comment by Kirsten
New trolls though — you gotta break them in before they’re really worth anything. A troll is like cheese — the really bad smell can take months, even years to develop.
Troll — you clearly haven’t been reading this blog long enough. If you had, you would have seen that Kimberly is the furthest thing from a desperate, no-self-respect single-and-sad-about-it gal that there is. I haven’t known her to have a more than one or two outings that I’d call “dates” in the last decade. Maybe it’s happened — there may have been a date or two some time in the couple years that I’m a little fuzzy on — but it wasn’t a major thing.
So yeah, troll — do your homework. Or move on to another bridge.
Posted on October 25, 2007 at 4:54 pm
Comment by Laura
Me, I like my men to show a little enthusiasm, thankyouverymuch. He’s very deliberately resisting your attempts to get him to show some. I see this as a control thing: “she wants X from me; therefore I won’t give it to her.” It’s a petty little head game, and a huge red flag for me.
I’d write him off. You deserve someone who’s *excited* to be with you, and not afraid/too burdened by ego to show it.
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 7:17 am
Comment by Kirsten
That, I’d agree with. I’d guess at this point that you and Facebook Guy could be people who know someone in common and occasionally hang out, but if it were going to erupt into passion (on either side) it would have done so by now.
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 11:04 am
Comment by Amber
Um, totally off topic, but peanut butter and bacon together, on anything? Admittedly I have no idea what a Wally Burger is and have never tried it, but ew. If I lived in your neck of the woods would I feel differently?
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Comment by Kimberly
ok. I’m not looking for mindblowing passion with Facebook Guy. I don’t *feel* mindblowing passion fro Facebook Guy. He’s a fun, non-threatening way to spend a couple of hours. Plus, he’s quirky and interesting. But he’s not some grand passion.
And for the record, if that conversation had been reversed, I quite possibly could have been the party giving the hard time just for fun. I’m like that.
And while I agree with Amber in theory that peanut butter and bacon on burger is just plain wrong, I have to say that, in moderation, it is actually bliss. Ask Kirsten, she’ll tell you the same thing.
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 1:49 pm
Comment by Kirsten
Mmmm, Wallyburger.
Amber — I’ll make you one. A burger adorned with peanut butter, bacon, onions, mustard, a bit of relish, and some lettuce. It sounds like something not to be eaten, but it is soooo good. Especially when the warmed peanut butter drips down your fingers while you eat the burger.
And a cherry coke. Not the kind that comes in a can — the kind that is made with coke, and real cherry syrup. (Not that there’s anything “real” about cherry syrup).
I’m hungry.
Posted on October 26, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Comment by crazy4now
A goodbye hug? Total progress. And, totally not about the date, but did you ever get the Wally Burger at all? And where would I find one of these???
Posted on October 28, 2007 at 6:34 am
Comment by Amber
OK, the descriptions of the Wally Burger are only making it sound much, much worse. Dripping peanut butter? With not only bacon, but onions and relish? And to top it all of, cherry Coke? I may eat raw fish, and poutine, and bits of spit-out carrot from my toddler, but this is too much. Blargh.
Posted on October 31, 2007 at 1:29 pm