Parenting Without A License

Who knew that the cure for tween angst was as simple as a strange bed?

Posted by Kimberly on November 12th, 2007 — Posted in Diva Girl, NaBloPoMo

It’s amazing the changes a night away from home can work on a child.

When Diva Girl left on Saturday it was only because my extreme patience and indulgence allowed her to pack up her brand new satin jammies inside her princess sleeping bag and head off into the great unknown. After a particularly tweenerific week week of obnoxious behaviour, she was lucky I let her out of her room at all, let alone to go to a party. Normally I wouldn’t have; I would have yanked that privilege faster than she could make a snotty remark. But I really didn’t want to do that this time, and not just because in doing so I would have been punishing myself at least as much as I was punishing her.

It may be making excuses for her, but I think a lot of last week’s drama and bad behaviour were brought about by nerves. She really, really wanted to go on this sleepover, but I think she was also really, really nervous about the idea of sleeping away from home with a bunch of people she didn’t really know. And, because she’s eight years old and Diva Girl, that ambivalence came through as attitude. So, in spite of her behaviour unbecoming of a sleepover (or really anything other than bread and water), I let her go.

By about the third phonecall home I was pretty confident that I’d been right on all counts. She did want to be there and she was having a blast, but she was also utterly overwhelmed by this new experience. Each time she called I tried to walk that line between understanding and encouragement. I didn’t want her to catch hold of my anxiety and feel like there was something she should be nervous about, but I didn’t want to dismiss her own anxiety, either. It was a tightrope walk made all the more complicated by the fact that, without a car, we were doing it without a net.

If she’d really needed me to I’d have brought her home, but quite honestly, there are few things I can think of that would be more inconvenient. I mean, I’m sure that that particular call sucks under any circumstances but when the midnight rescue involves getting the whole family dressed and into a cab, it’s just a whole new layer of suck. In the end, she probably slept better than I did, which is reassuring.

It was also reassuring when The Mom informed me that Diva Girl was quite possibly the best behaved girl there–the one who crashed out at 10 pm, oblivious to the threats and giggles that kept the other girls up well into the wee hours of the night. It’s always nice when you send your kid out into the world, hoping that they will be the person you know they can be, rather than the person you fear they will be, and they deliver on that promise. When I picked her up on Sunday morning, the nightmare Diva Girl of Saturday had been replaced by the charming, likeable Sabrina, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

The spontaneous bear hug she greeted me with was repeated several times throughout the day, and there were also quite a few unprompted declarations of “you’re the best mommy ever!” and “I love you, Mommy!” It can’t last, of course, but I’ll admit that I’m enjoying it while it does. And wondering how soon I can send her on another sleepover, if this is what happens.

Oh, and on a related note, my evil plan seems to be working. The birthday girl received 3 Webkinz in addition to the one the one Diva Girl gave her. Bwa ha ha ha!