Parenting Without A License

An Embarrassment of Riches

Posted by Kimberly on November 30th, 2007 — Posted in The Ladies, Just Like Riding A Bicycle, Facebook Guy, The Man I Didn't Marry, NaBloPoMo

I have not one, not two, but three invitations for tonight. Both Facebook Guy and The Man I Didn’t Marry have asked what I’m up to, indicating that they’d be willing to fill any holes in my social calendar. Plus, an old “friend” from school will be in town and wants to take me out to dinner. At a restaurant that doesn’t provide crayons for the patrons. Tempting…

I’ve never been in a situation like this before, so many desirable men all desiring to spend time with me. It’s a pretty heady ego boost, let me tell you. But what’s a girl to do when there are so many choices, but she doesn’t want to choose?

Luckily, I won’t have to make any hard decisions this time; I’ve already got plans. Plans that don’t involve great ass jeans, hair drama, or fancy underwear. Tonight I have a date with The Ladies.

There was a time not too long ago when the idea of another Friday night spent with pizza, pajamas, and picture books seemed like just one more tick on the wall marking time in a life sentence of boredom. But that was before I had options. Somehow, when it’s a choice to stay home, rather than an inevitability, the idea becomes much more appealing. All of my other offers for tonight were tempting in their own ways, but none of them held quite the same allure of curling up on the couch to watch Christmas specials with a daughter on each side of me and bowl of popcorn in the middle.

This is the hidden perk of dating, and one that I just recently realized. I’ve long been a proponent of “me” time. I truly believe that if we don’t get some time away from our kids sometimes that we’re actually doing them a disservice, burning ourselves out in the name of some sort of ridiculously unattainable holy grail of maternal martyrdom. So, last week’s date with myself wasn’t really that far outside the norm.

Much though I enjoyed the opportunity to reconnect with me, though, it’s a fundamentally different experience than connecting with another adult. I’m honestly surprised by how much I’m enjoying that connection (oh, get your minds out of the gutters people! And keep the gutters out of the comments, mkay? My Mom reads here.) I don’t have to put any effort into dating myself. In fact, I’m a pretty bad date for myself–no makeup, comfy jeans, often times more focussed on taking the opportunity to finally scrub the kitchen floor or tackle the toilet without “help” than in participating in a scintillating, mentally stimulating evening. But with another person, that excitement is there. That sense of possibility that leads me to try out new lipstick colours and take the out the hairband. To move beyond myself into new areas interest and fresh topics of conversation. Dating someone else forces you outside of yourself; it’s exhilarating and exciting and the best part is, that feeling spills over into real life, making that time that you do spend engaged in every day drudgery just a little bit more exciting.

My routine Friday night isn’t quite so routine anymore. I now know that just because I’m spending tonight in momsville doesn’t mean that I’m destined to spend all of my nights there and that makes it so much easier to embrace this life, to curl up on the couch with the remote and the bickering over the popcorn and just let everything else go for a night. There’s always next weekend, after all.