Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That. Except That There Is.
So, Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Maybe it makes me a hypocrite, but my knee jerk reaction to this news was to block Zoey 101 from our TV lineup.
I’ve been trying to think about why that is, why I have a huge problem with my daughter looking up to this girl and making her a role model now that she’s fallen off her pedestal. It can’t be the single mother aspect; I am, after all, the champion of the concept that you don’t need a marriage license to sign a birth certificate. And unlike me, Jamie Lynn is apparently with her baby daddy and planning to stay that way. No sordid one night stands here, just two crazy kids in love.
And therein, I think, lies my problem: They’re kids. Sixteen year olds, to be exact. Sixteen year olds should not be looking for cars with child safety locks. Their “cool ride” should not be a Quinny. Sixteen year olds should be kids, they shouldn’t be raising them.
But it’s more than just sadness at a childhood curtailed that’s behind my reaction to Spears the Younger’s big news. I didn’t have this visceral feeling of disgust and judgment when I found out about Kayla’s pregnancy. In that situation, I was saddened and disappointed, but I didn’t judge Kayla for her choices or the consequences they’d brought into her life; I reached out, tracked down baby clothes for her, and let her know that I would be there to support her as she tried to figure this single mom thing out and do right by her son. So why do I feel angry and appalled that Jamie Lynn Spears finds herself in exactly the same situation?
Maybe because I don’t routinely invite Kayla into my livingroom, while Miss Spears visits as often as Diva Girl can arrange it. Maybe because Zoey 101 is a role model to young girls, and I feel cheated that Jamie Lynn completely betrayed that wholesome image she projects on television by making exactly the same mistake that thousands of other teenage girls make every year. Maybe because we have unreasonable expectations of our celebrities and expect them to be somehow more than human and above the sordid,mundane realities of life outside of reality television?
Possibly. All I know is that Zoey 101 has been expelled from this particular livingroom. Although, my money is it won’t be an issue since Zoey will more than likely be expelled from Nickelodeon post haste, their messages of support notwithstanding. I mean, can you imagine if they wrote it in?
And that makes me wonder, is it just that she’s on TV? If it were The Ladies beloved Teenage Babysitter, would I have have this same strong reaction? Would I still feel that she was no longer a fit role model for my children? I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that she and Kayla are both “real” people with very little glamour attached to their lives while Jamie Lynn is a celebrity, but when I think of the two I know, I feel empathy and compassion, but when I think of the last one on the list, all I can muster is a dismissive disgust and the incredibly uncharitable sentiment that that the last thing I want as a role model for my daughter is a knocked up 16 year old. (Not that I was really keen on Zoey or Jamie Lynn as a role model under any circumstances, but this goes beyond my level of tolerance for seemingly harmless tweenie pop culture.)
Comment by InTheFastLane
I so agree. I was disappointed more because I had hopes that there where still role models available for young girls. Not so sure anymore.
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 2:28 pm
Comment by Rebecca
I totally agree. I felt one way when a 17 yr old in my life went thru this. Disappointed, sure, but not disgusted and somewhat appauled like I do with Jamie Lynn. I think it is in part due to her “role model” status” and that this is going to cause conversations in a lot of homes that neither parent nor children are ready for. Very not good. And what on earth was this 16 yr old kid doing living with her 19 yr old boyfriend?
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 2:35 pm
Comment by Vicki
I wasn’t quite as apalled that Jamie Lynn was pregnant, as I was that her mother is working on a parenting book.
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Comment by Charly
I completely agree with this. Can I even go a step further? Before we moved up here to the frozen tundra, my husband and I were going through the certification process to be foster parents for pregnant teens through a tribal association. (Apparently, in a lot of traditional Native American homes, teen pregnancy is cause for disownment.) I felt nothing but horror and sympathy for these girls, and wanted to gather as many of them as I could fit in my home so they would have someone to support them. And then I read that article this morning, and all I feel is this squirmy, icky feeling that says “oh the horror!” I think part of the reason for that reaction though, in addition to this person being a highly exposed role model, is her family. We have all seen what a beutiful trainwreck her sister has made out of her life, and the lives of her children. And I think the main thought I kept coming back to is that if this girl is going to be irresponsible enough to get knocked up at 16, what could possibly make me think she would treat her child any different than her sister does? Unfair? Completely. But that dosn’t stop me from thinking it.
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Comment by Karen
Having sons, I don’t quite get the knee-jerk reaction to pull the show - it’s not like she’s going to give birth on Nickelodeon. Just teasing…
Young girls in the media have been down this road before. I think as long as you’re talking to your kids on whatever level you think they can handle, they’ll soon realize not to put stock in t.v. personalities as role models and look to the people that have common sense — like Mama.
I told Dylan last night when I broke the story (thanks for linky love btw) and he and I had a good talk about pregnancy and babies and what it would mean for her, what with being so young. Course, I had to explain menstruation (awkward) but it got us talking and it’s not like he puts a lot of stock in any famous people except maybe Tony Hawk. I guess if Tony Hawk got in trouble over something I’d have to have a talk about that with him!
I just hope Jamie-Lynn gets more support than her sister. Their mother ought to be ashamed of herself for exploiting them to the point where she felt it best for Jamie to CALL OK Magazine and SELL THE STORY, rather than deal with the matter privately and in such a way that was best for her young daughter. Those poor kids.
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Comment by Nikki
Totally agree. Long time reader, one time commenter (regarding the green bean casserole). Can I also ask for the password to that post. Also, understand, that I may not get it. Thanks!
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Comment by Stacey
I was sad about this too and the funny thing was when I read the article we were watching Zoey 101 which we love in our house! My daughter ois 7 so she could take it or leave it- Just as long as we get our Drake and Josh
Can I get the pass code the protected post?
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Comment by SweetyPi
Didn’t hear about this story until now. But then again I’ve had my head so far buried under paperwork and the impeding doom that is christmas shopping that I haven’t really paid attention either. It really is sad that that child didn’t learn or listen to reason watching her mother and sister battle it out and wants to bring a child into that crazy world. I totally agree with the celeb aspect of it. I guess my parents held me to a higher standard way back when, but hey, I’m doing just fine thank you very much. I guess the only thing as gawkers is watch and hope what befell the sister doesn’t inpact the future. One can dream, can’t they?
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Comment by thordora
There’s something easier about explaining what someone in “real life” has done as opposed to trying to explain what someone famous has done. Fame is “supposed” to deliver some immunity from acts of haste or blindness or plain stupidity, right? At least to a kid it might seem that way.
What would bother me would be explaining why said celeb wasn’t smart enough to either abstain or truly protect herself from pregnancy. It bothers me because she’s 16, as any pregnant 16 year old bothers me. And it bothers me because she’ll have to deal with this, with the heat on her, not him. Pregnant, at 16, in the media eye….that’s heavy, and kinda sad.
Posted on December 19, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Comment by LL
hi,
i dont post very often but read all the time. Wondered if i could have the password for that post - i understand if not.
xx
Posted on December 20, 2007 at 7:48 am
Comment by landismom
I agree with your decision to pull Zoey 101 off the approved-TV list (although I also agree that it can’t be long for this Nickelodeon world). The thing that is troubling about it to me is not that she’s pregnant and keeping the baby–it’s that a 16-year-old famous actress will not have the typical experience of teen pregnancy and parenting, and I don’t want my non-star daughter thinking that what Spears is about to go through is ‘normal.’
There will be nannies. There will be an ability to finish school, and go to college. And while I don’t think she can continue to play Zoey, I think she will continue to be a bankable star.
I don’t want my kids–either my son or my daughter–thinking that getting pregnant at 16/getting someone pregnant at 16 comes without life-changing consequences, and I think Spears is likely to be insulated from most of those.
Posted on December 20, 2007 at 10:06 am
Comment by Lisa
Hi,
I have been a regular reader since iVillage, but have never posted. I love reading the adventures of you and yours and would appreciate the password for the protected post. If not, I understand and will enjoy the more public posts.
On the Spears pregnancy - I echo some prior comments that her experience as a teen mother will not be the one that a normal, non-celebrity, teen would have. At this point, my daughter is just over 2 years and my son is 2 months, so television is not an issue yet. To hear that their mother is writing a parenting book on top of that - well, it takes all kinds.
Posted on December 20, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Comment by amy
My disgust from hearing about Jamie-Lynn becoming pregnant is the fact that “HELLOOOOO DID YOU NOT SEE THE TRAINWRECK THAT YOUR SISTER RODE IN ON?!?!?”…. live and learn I suppose. I know someone personally who became a GREAT mother when she was only 15, so I’m trying desperately to give the benefit of the doubt (and at least we don’t have worry that she won’t be able to “provide” for the child).
Posted on December 21, 2007 at 9:03 am
Comment by Joanna
Long time reader, second time commenter. Is it possible that I could get the password please?
Thanks,
Joanna
Posted on December 23, 2007 at 4:10 pm