Parenting Without A License

Achoo

Posted by Kimberly on January 31st, 2008 — Posted in Kipple

What genius thought that “Non Drowsy” cold medicine for children was a good idea?

Seriously.

Because, “Your kid will still be too sick to go to school, but will feel well enough to develop a raging case of cabin fever” is really not the selling point that the children’s pharmaceutical industry thinks it is.  “Your kid will spend the day on the couch in a cartoon coma, occasionally troubling you for juice and to whisper quiet thanks as you wipe her brow.”  Now that’s a selling point.

Especially when your kid happens to wake up around 3 am with the hacking cough and knives in the throat cold that you were really, really hoping to avoid even as you were stuffing your pockets with kleenex before heading out to go snowtubing in -22 degree weather after the zipper popped on her very expensive new winter jacket.

I don’t need “will perk your kid right up and leave her more hyper than usual” cold medicine.  I need Nyquil!!!  Why, why for the love of all that is sleepy, snotty, and scratchy, is there not Nyquil for children?

It’s not like they’re going to be operating heavy machinery. Or operating a motor vehicle.  Or doing really any of those things that you’re not supposed to do when you’re in that sweet drugged embrace.  And if it’s between being revved up enough to scatter every toy you own from one end of the apartment to the other, wreak havoc in the bathroom playing fashion model with Mommy’s make up, trashing the kitchen–including leaving out every. single. container. of juice after taking it out of the fridge and lying quietly on the couch, too weak to lift the remote, well…..

Here’s hoping she feels better tomorrow.