Parenting Without A License

Happy Father’s Day

Posted by Kimberly on June 16th, 2008 — Posted in Kipple

For two little girls without Dads, The Ladies had a pretty fabulous Father’s Day.

A trip to the good park with the geese and the fish and the really great playground. A spontaneous jaunt to the beach for sandcastles, burgers, and greasy fries. THREE turns each on the rides. Ice cream.

Yeah, I don’t think they really missed out on the fun by not having a Dad. Especially since they do have a Dad–MY Dad, who was with them every step of the day. From the playground where he divided his time between riding the rocking dinosaur, pushing the swings, and, most importantly, lifting them up to The Zipper and giving them the confidence to fly on their own, to the beach where he willingly chased the waves with them even though he had neither suit nor towel, to the Fry Shack where he happily fed loonies into the rides and treated them to ice cream even though it was supposed to be his special day, my Dad and my Ladies were inseparable.

I sometimes get asked if I feel my kids are missing out because they don’t have a father. And I can answer in all honesty that I do not believe they are. Because of my Father, who, although he is not theirs, has such a presence as a Grandfather that he utterly overshadows any possible void left by the absence of their DNA donors in my children’s lives. In fact, far from being deprived due to their lack of a paternal presence, I think my daughters are incredibly lucky that they get to share in the awesomeness that is my Daddy. The same man who took me to work on quick calls just to show me off, who proudly displayed every school picture on his toolbox, who once sat on a dozen little chairs in a dozen ladies dressing rooms watching me try on Prom dresses now patiently allows my children to “help” him around the house, takes them on trips to Home Depot, and spends hours teaching them to ride their bikes and scooters. Every time I watch the very special bond my Dad has with my daughters I am reminded of what it felt like to be Daddy’s Girl–to be his Little Chickadee–and far from feeling regret that my girls don’t get to have that experience, I feel grateful that they do–they may not be Daddy’s Little Girl, but both of them are Grampa’s Girls, his Babydoll and Babycakes.

So no, no regrets here on Father’s Day, and no looking at half empty glasses or thinking about what my children don’t have.  Because what they do have is so much larger than that, and so much more important that mere DNA.  They’ve got the Best Dad In the World in their lives.  And even better, he’s there because he wants to be, not because he feels like he should be.
This Father’s Day that even though my girls were the ones giving the cards and presents, they–and I–are the ones who have truly gotten the greater gift.  Even better, ours is not just limited to one day of the year.