Fast Food Part II
07 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Stupid does not descriminate
I always wondered if I wrote a book, what would I write about? I mean, just read through my blog…it’s completely random, right? Sometimes it’s about parenting, sometimes about my life in general, but most times it’s about what irritates me. Well, worry no more. I have an answer. I think I will dedicate my first book to the absolute retardedness that is the American Fast Food industry. Oh yes, it’s time to rip on McDonalds, my friends. They’ve had it coming for a while now.
Considering I haven’t cooked (microwaved) a real meal in months, I have to say I’m pretty proud of my restraint up until this point. Pat yourself on the back for me. Go ahead! No one’s looking. I have become a regular patron at your local drive thru and let me tell you, they are all created equal. However, this morning I had the ultimate experience of, “Did that really happen? Seriously…”
So, I was a little early for an appointment and decided coffee and a breakfast burrito would kill some time. I pull up to the window and the young lady hands me my coffee with a regular top. Like for a straw. Who drinks coffee through a straw? Now, there are days I wish coffee came in IV form, but never once have I thought to myself, “I think I’ll suck down some burning hot coffee as fast as I can through a straw the size of a PVC pipe.” Nope, never crossed my mind. I prefer to sip my flaming mocha through a coffee lid. Spoiled that way, I suppose. Sad story.
When she attempted to hand it to me, I asked her, “What’s that?”, with a puzzled look on my face that must have read: are you retarded? She fumbled for a minute with her words before she said they were out of coffee lids for the medium cups. Okay. So I asked her to put it in a small cup. Again, she just garbled at me and tried to clarify what I was saying and what she was supposed to do with the rest of the coffee. Clearly, she was in shock that a regular lid was a sucky substitute for a coffee lid. Bless her heart. I tried to be as specific as I could. “Pour that coffee in one small cup and dump the rest down the sink. I don’t care that I paid for a medium. I really need a COFFEE lid because I will make a huge mess. Thanks.” She seemed satisfied with the step by step instructions and went to fix my coffee.
Then, with a smile, she hands me a small coffee with a REGULAR lid. Again, my response was, “What’s that?”, only my non-verbal communication was screaming, “Why did they put you in the drive thru??? Please go scrub a toilet.” Not nice, I know. I have great control over what I say…what I think, not-so-much. I feel bad for her. A little.
Then she tells me, “I told you we were out of coffee lids?”
Really?
Anybody else want to finish this story…
My monologue that followed went something like this: “Noooo…you told me you were out of MEDIUM lids so I asked you to put it in a small cup with a small lid. If you had told me they were the SAME size coffee lids, I would not have asked you to pour out half of my coffee I paid ten dollars for. Give me a coke please.”
At this point she was so overwhelmed, I think I could have gotten a Big Mac out of her if I hadn’t been afraid she would pack it in a cup holder because they were out of boxes or something else stupid. “Here’s your Big Mac, ma’am. Sorry, we ran out of sacks but I put it in a trash bag for you.” Thanks.
Soooo…instead of my yummy mocha, they gave me a half-gallon sized cup of watered down flat coke. Awesome! It went well with the stale burrito that tasted like filet-o-fish. I can’t get too mad at the drive-thru girl. She looked pretty young and I worked drive-thru, myself, as a teenager. It’s my own fault that I keep going back like they will spontaneously learn how to function between today and tomorrow.
I definitely won’t be going back to THIS McDonald’s. Mostly because the last time I was there (to get coffee), the same chick was working drive thru when I ordered my mocha only to wait twenty minutes to pay and then hear, “Sorry, but we’re not selling the mochas right now because we have to clean the machine once a day, so we can’t make them.” I told her 8:30am was a really dumb time to clean the coffee machine and thanks for not telling me when I ordered so I could wait in line 20 minutes for NOTHING!
Ugh…did that come out of my mouth??? Yes, yes it did. This is why I need coffee. I should not be allowed to interact with people until I have some.
To the girl in the drive-thru, I’m sorry that you have had to deal with ne undercaffeinated. From now on, I’ll harass the people of Starbucks. That’s the REAL reason they charge so much for their coffee, I think. It’s because they have to pay their employees double to deal with crabby jerkwad customers, like me, who can’t function socially without their morning caffeine fix.
