Shady Deals
28 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Stupid does not descriminate
I love Black Friday shopping. I’ve gone every year for the last four years now. I usually map out a plan with whoever agrees to be my shopping buddy, grab some Starbucks, and set my sights on the store with the most deals. Something about the anticipation of nabbing a great deal is super exciting, isn’t it? It doesn’t really even matter what the deal is as long as it’s a deal. “Guess what I paid for these toe socks?! FIVE CENTS!!! Everybody’s getting a pair!” Yes! Toesocks! Awesome. Just what everybody wants for Christmas…two layers of cotton shoved between each individual toe. That should be considered a form of torture.
To date, I’ve never made it home on Black Friday with an advertised “doorbuster.” You know what I mean by doorbuster: those tempting ads they put out weeks ahead of time that make people insane enough to camp out in front of the store for hours, or even days. Those people are nuts! Or maybe I just value my time too much. An hour of my time that could be spent playing with my kids, or better yet, sleeping, has got to be worth at least $200. And that price goes up the older I get. There was one year we made it home with a TV on supersale. But as soon as we plugged it in it almost caught on fire. Returned and lesson learned.
So really, I’m not a slow learner, I continue to go for the fun of it more so than the objective to grab a great steal-of-a-deal. I was really disappointed that this year stores were opening at midnight and even 9pm on Thanksgiving! That ruins it for me. That takes away all the excitement of waiting, of getting up super early and coming home to crash after a long morning, of getting to enjoy the holiday separately from the shopping day…bleh! It just ruins it! No more Black Friday Thursday, whatever, for me.
However, I’m not stupid! If I was planning on buying something anyway, I may as well try to get it when it’s on sale. Enter: online shopping. Hello? Killer deals for great prices with free shipping and I never have to change out of my PJ’s or get off my couch? Sign me up! Or…so you think…
Online Shopping: Take One
The item in mind: A step2 Push buggy, pink of course, to push my little K around at the park. Awwww. The steering wheel even has a horn. Super cute! Regular price: $60. Black Friday in-store deal: $25. Dang! Maybe I should go stand in line. Wait! Online price: $30. Cool! I’d spend the extra $5 bucks in gas to get there, have to wait in line four days, and they may be gone before I can even grab one. Online it is!
I put it in my virtual cart and go to checkout. Price: $60.
What?!
Reload.
Price: $60.
Okay, it’s only 11:00pm. Not officially Black Friday, nevermind the store opened at 9pm, but I can wait. So I set my alarm for 12:01am.
At 12:01am I get back online only to realize the server is so busy that it takes 15 minutes for each page to load, and that’s if it loads at all. By 1am I have made it to checkout.
Error: can’t fetch price!
What?!?! What the heck does that mean.
Reload. Checkout. Error. Repeat.
I do this multiple times.
Okay, keep in mind I’m doing this from the mobile site on my phone. So I chose to visit the full site just to see if there is a glitch. There is! Thank goodness! I really want the buggy now. I can picture it under the tree. The server is still painfully busy but by 2am I’m ready to check out.
Price: $30. Yes! Total: $72. What?!?!?!
Shipping. Yes, shipping!!! Are you kidding me? Shipping cost more than the toy?! No way! So I go back to the main site…*Free Shipping on orders of $49 or greater. Great! Well, I don’t want two buggies, but I really want the one, so let me see if they have anything else I can get for the girls…they got me!
After another hour of shopping online with dial-up page loading speed, I finally am satisfied with my selections.
Checkout. Finally! $30 toy I cane to buy, $20 worth of junk I have to buy, Grand total: $82.
Wait just a cotton-pickin’-minute!
I read the fine print: *Free shipping on orders $49 or greater up to $20 off total shipping
Are you serious? It’s 4am. And I still don’t have a buggy. I got online at ELEVEN o’clock! I could have been to the store, run somebody down with a shopping cart, been arrested, gotten bailed out, grabbed a milkshake, and been home by now. This is ridiculous! Online shopping is supposed to be easier, right?
Now I understand why people are so crazy. I will not be wasting my time again to save a few bucks. I DID not order the buggy and I’m threw with my Christmas shopping. Thank you Toys R Us for trying to con me out of $80 for a toy you are running on Black Friday sale for $25.
Again. Lesson learned.
‘Tis the season to shop for toys
12 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
My friends, the Christmas Season is nearly upon us! Well, unless you are a major department store or online retailer in which case Christmas marketing started before Halloween. Is it just me or do Christmas trees and Jack ‘O Lanterns seem like they need to be separated by at least two months or even just five aisles? Somebody should let Walmart know. It’s just weird.
There are just 42 shopping days until the big event. Six weekends. Factor in that I will need to secure a babysitter to shop, wrap and hide gifts, and find a tree and it seems like I’m already behind! I’m starting today after the alarm company leaves, but I don’t have a clue what I’m looking for…and normally I find it super easy to buy for my kids. Why does buying Christmas gifts put you under so much more pressure than buying gifts at any other time of the year?
It’s because the stupid stores start pushing the idea on you in July! Seriously, Target is about to give me an anxiety attack. Actually, I think it’s because any good parent wants their child to be pleased and happy that morning. I do. But I feel that way every morning, don’t you? Maybe it’s the tradition? It’s the one day you get to spoil your kids rotten and not hear about it from their grandparents, even though their grandparents do it all year long. Only…well, if you do the Santa thing you don’t get any of the credit! Who came up with that retarded idea? There’s definitely alot of anticipation that builds up to that one day.
So, I’m carefully considering what to get them and I haven’t got many ideas. It’s easier to make a list of things NOT to get them. Maybe it’s just me, but I peruse the aisles and reject anything that is too messy, easily broken, could be a choking hazard, or used as a weapon. For example:
Markers, paint, crayons…not on my walls, thank you very much!
Roller skates…can you say head injury?
Polly pocket, winkies, little pet shop, etc…I can clearly picture how these toys would show up on an abdominal x-ray. I’ll save my kid the radiation and bowel obstruction, and myself the ER copay.
Anything motorized…refer back to ‘head injury’ and note that I will never remember to charge it, so I’ll save myself the whining.
Bowling pins, bats, tennis rackets, drumsticks, etc…methods of assault, both against me and each other. Enough said.
Anything with four legs…this would only add one more victim for ‘assault.’
Candy…pretty sure we’ll have Halloween candy left at Easter.
So what’s left? Barbies minus the small accessories, stuffed animals, and Nerf balls? I cringe as I point out to you matted hair, a ‘one eyed duck’ cousin, and projectile weapons of mass destruction.
I don’t know how my parents survived the aftermath of Christmases past.
Happy Shopping!
What’s for dinner?
12 Nov 2011 1 Comment
I am a really GREAT cook! Really, I’m something like Rachel Ray…well, without the money…or the tv cameras…oh, or the time or the behind-the-scenes prep guys. All that fanciness aside, I can roast a pork tenderloin that will make you wanna smack your mama! I make a mean lasagna from scratch and 4-alarm chili that is on fire, meaning, it’s delicious. Man, I miss my homecooking!
One day I will cook like that again. One day. That day is NOT today. And it probably won’t be tomorrow either. It takes way too much time to cook the way I want to. This makes me sad. My hat goes off to all the moms I’m FB friends with that are always posting the four course meal they made complete with mouthwatering pictures. These moms also post pictures of the latest coordinating wardrobe they embroider for all their adorable children, and somehow manage to post a status about taking a nap too.
Nap? What’s that? I can assure you that if I found the time to nap, I wouldn’t waste precious sleep time posting about it on FB. Just saying.
But kudos to them because I’m super jealous!
My cooking habits have become so awful that today I asked Hannah if she was ready for dinner and she asked for lunch instead. School lunch is probably the most nutritious meal she gets in a day. Poor kid. Tonight, she had Captn Crunch. Two bowls actually. I’m sure there’s a food group in there somewhere, right? And hey, I put it in milk. After complaining to my friend how awful of a parent I was, she gave me this advice: Give her a spoon of peanut butter for dessert and call it a well-balanced meal! Grains, dairy, and protein.
I like the way she thinks! She’s either a really great friend or one heck of an enabler. Whichever way you swing it, I’m cool with that and slightly less guilt-ridden.
I just can’t muster up more energy than what is required to microwave some leftovers or heat up some chicken tenders. Most of the time, Hannah’s not going to eat it anyway and ask for suckers.
That reminds me…I should really make her a dental appointment. I’ll add it to my list of “Things Good Moms do that one day I’ll find time for.” Do you have that list? Weird things go on there like make homemade playdough, return the toy that Parenting Magazine announced a recall for, subscribe to Parenting Magazine, don’t give the recalled toy to the kid whose birthday you forgot to buy a gift for…you know, stuff like that.
Anyway, I need help. What’s your go-to meal? What do you make your kids that’s simple to prepare, semi-nutritious, and doesn’t strand you in the kitchen for three days prepping, cooking, and cleaning? I mean, I appreciate a hot meal for myself sometimes and those are rare when you are trying to meet the demands of two-under-four at dinner time after they haven’t seen you all day. You’d think I had moved to Alaska for a year the way they cling and whine for my attention!
Share your meals! My three year old will thank you!
