‘Tis the season to shop for toys
12 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
My friends, the Christmas Season is nearly upon us! Well, unless you are a major department store or online retailer in which case Christmas marketing started before Halloween. Is it just me or do Christmas trees and Jack ‘O Lanterns seem like they need to be separated by at least two months or even just five aisles? Somebody should let Walmart know. It’s just weird.
There are just 42 shopping days until the big event. Six weekends. Factor in that I will need to secure a babysitter to shop, wrap and hide gifts, and find a tree and it seems like I’m already behind! I’m starting today after the alarm company leaves, but I don’t have a clue what I’m looking for…and normally I find it super easy to buy for my kids. Why does buying Christmas gifts put you under so much more pressure than buying gifts at any other time of the year?
It’s because the stupid stores start pushing the idea on you in July! Seriously, Target is about to give me an anxiety attack. Actually, I think it’s because any good parent wants their child to be pleased and happy that morning. I do. But I feel that way every morning, don’t you? Maybe it’s the tradition? It’s the one day you get to spoil your kids rotten and not hear about it from their grandparents, even though their grandparents do it all year long. Only…well, if you do the Santa thing you don’t get any of the credit! Who came up with that retarded idea? There’s definitely alot of anticipation that builds up to that one day.
So, I’m carefully considering what to get them and I haven’t got many ideas. It’s easier to make a list of things NOT to get them. Maybe it’s just me, but I peruse the aisles and reject anything that is too messy, easily broken, could be a choking hazard, or used as a weapon. For example:
Markers, paint, crayons…not on my walls, thank you very much!
Roller skates…can you say head injury?
Polly pocket, winkies, little pet shop, etc…I can clearly picture how these toys would show up on an abdominal x-ray. I’ll save my kid the radiation and bowel obstruction, and myself the ER copay.
Anything motorized…refer back to ‘head injury’ and note that I will never remember to charge it, so I’ll save myself the whining.
Bowling pins, bats, tennis rackets, drumsticks, etc…methods of assault, both against me and each other. Enough said.
Anything with four legs…this would only add one more victim for ‘assault.’
Candy…pretty sure we’ll have Halloween candy left at Easter.
So what’s left? Barbies minus the small accessories, stuffed animals, and Nerf balls? I cringe as I point out to you matted hair, a ‘one eyed duck’ cousin, and projectile weapons of mass destruction.
I don’t know how my parents survived the aftermath of Christmases past.
Happy Shopping!
