Over the Hills and through the Woods… (Part 1 of 2)
18 Dec 2011 1 Comment
…to grandmother’s house we go! Or, in my case, over the bridge, across the river, and through the never-ending miles of on and off construction. For as far back as I can remember, the drive to my Grandma’s house in Arkansas has been long, boring, and filled with the monotonous scenery of empty field after empty field, only broken by the occasional 30 mile stretch of orange barrels. I’m 28. You think in nearly three decades they would have completed all the roadwork. It’s like they are eternally demolishing, rebuilding, and repairing the same 250 mile stretch of highway between our house and hers. In fact, I’m pretty sure some of those barrels are the original barrels that were blocking off lanes of traffic back when I was a baby. I mean, whose crappy job is it to put out and take up those things anyway? It’s kinda like they started the project in 1980, ran out of money, and just left them there and nobody has even noticed that you never actually see any “road construction workers,” just their paraphernalia littering the highway. If I ever do see one of these mythical crew members, I will be sure to give him a special thank you for the hell I went through to get back home tonight!
As my sister and I hustled our tired kids into the mothership, complete with all our baggage and a few bags of Christmas toys, snacks for the road, and half a pound of fudge that I graciously took off my Grandma’s hands, our prayer was for a quick, peaceful trip with four sleeping kiddos worn out on good food, no naps, and new toys. What we got was a car full of cranky, overtired demon possessed children in dirty diapers with nothing to feed them but fudge and rice crispie treats for six hours! It was honestly one of the worst car rides of my entire life.
It didn’t start out that way, though. Actually, the trip back started off just as planned. We left on time. We didn’t leave anything essential behind. Everyone was fed and happy, and both little babies fell asleep before we even made it out of the driveway. The Wonderpets DVD was softly playing in the background on the the tv as my sister and I chatted about nonsense. But somewhere around Carlisle, AR we hit construction traffic and that’s where things began to fall apart. I know it was Carlisle only because I had the time to Google where the ___ am I? as I sat PARKED on the interstate wondering why nothing was moving!
A wreck?! Oh my…it must be a pretty bad one, I thought, and silently prayed no one was seriously hurt or dead and hoped the traffic was from some other source, like construction. Boy! I got my prayers answered in a big way!!! After about 20 minutes of going zero miles an hour, things began to move at a snail’s pace and we saw some “road work ahead” signs. Always annoying, yes, but better than a wreck by far. My relief was short lived, however, because right at about the same time one on the babies woke up. I’m not sure which one it was first, but the sound was an ear-piercing scream of annoyance that they were not moving, not eating, not dry, and strapped down. If you’re a parent, you know a child’s cry has a domino effect on every other child in a 100 mile radius. So, instantly our peaceful car was morphed into a cage of death reverberating with the sound of two shrieking, hungry babies and two whining preschoolers who suddenly were hungry, thirsty, and had to pee. I had to roll the windows down to release some of the force of their fury. If I hadn’t, I’m pretty sure my van would have exploded!
We were now, once again, not moving. Not even an inch!
(…Part 2 of this post will be continued tomorrow because I am too tired tonight)
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