When God closes a door, be sure to notice!
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My mother did not name me Grace. It would be very ironic if she had, though, considering that I have the innate ability to trip over flat surfaces. I often joke that if there is a wall, chair, cord, or uneven surface within ten feet of me, I will surely find a way to trip over it, smash into it, or knock it down. If I were a superhero, I would most likely resemble Hancock.
Case in point, see my nose in that gorgeous picture above? Don’t be distracted by my mesmerizing beauty, look close! That’s a good one. How did that happen, you say?
Sunday night, I was exhausted after a long weekend of work. I got home after picking up Hannah, took a shower, took a sleeping pill, and crashed into the bed. I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. It was that good, deep sleep you get after you’ve been going all day and your muscles are tired, your mind is mush, and you drool all over yourself. I must have been sleeping so hard that when I got up to go pee, I didn’t even open my eyes. I walked to the bathroom and then….
THWAAAAACCKKKKK!
The whole world began vibrating, my ears were ringing, and I felt like Mike Tyson just gave me the one-two jab right in the middle of my face. I was so disoriented I didn’t even know what had just happened! Was there an intruder in the house? Had I just been struck with a baseball bat? Did someone construct a brick wall in my bathroom doorway while I was sleeping? What the heck just hit me in the face?!
Once I came to my senses, I realized that I had walked nose first into my closed bathroom door. Nice! That takes talent. I didn’t even have to pee anymore. Or maybe I peed on myself already. I don’t remember. I grabbed an ice pack and went back to bed hoping I hadn’t given myself a concussion.
Three days later, I still look like someone punched me in the face, but it’s not nearly as swollen and the light from the camera coupled with the dark circles under my eyes sort of washes out the bruising. I guess it’s time to get a night-light.
